Without His Existence (Celty Sturluson)
by ChidoriQueen
Summary: He was gone. Just like that. One day he was there, and the next day he...wasn't. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't. But since when had anything in her life been fair? That simply didn't exist. She wasn't supposed to fall in love.


He was gone.

Just like that.

One day he was there, and the next day he...wasn't.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't.

But since when had anything in her life been _fair_?

That simply didn't exist.

She wasn't supposed to fall in love.

Celty Sturluson was entirely still as the apologies, condolences, and comforting words slid past her, and was acutely aware of the reassuring pats on her shoulders, the brief hugs.

But she couldn't care less.

All that mattered was that the single person who could ever understand what it was like to be her was gone.

It was all so surreal.

"Celty," a gruff voice spoke, shaking her out of her thoughts, and she could see the faint wisp of smoke that could only mean that it was Shizuo.

_'Just stop,'_ the dullahan typed angrily, wanting everything to fade away. _'I don't need your pity.'_

Her memories shouldn't have been stolen in the first place. She shouldn't have had to chase her head all the way to Japan, so far from the green rolling hills of her beloved homeland. Celty could barely recall what her face looked like, couldn't remember her friends, her victims, or...

Who she truly was.

But had Shinra known?

She shouldn't have had to meet him anyways. If she didn't, her heart would never have been broken by something like this.

Everything was just so stupid.

Shizuo shrugged, taking the cigarette out of his mouth, "I wasn't going to say something like that. I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to walk you home."

As much as she hated to admit it, that was more comforting than anything else that had been said to her. She didn't want to hear anymore crap about that Shinra was a good man, that he was so kind, brave, selfless, noble...

Shizuo knew that. And so did she without anyone having to remind her.

It only made it hurt more.

As the slowly-moving crowd of the funeral's audience drifted to their cars or hailed taxis, the already-cloudy sky rumbled with thunder, and a light patter of water droplets fell from the sky. The rain struck Celty's helmet, sliding down the glass surface like tears.

_'Let's just go.'_

The tall man unfurled a neon orange umbrella and held it above them, shielding the two of them from the quickening torrent of rain drops.

The pavement was wet and she could feel her leather boots slosh into a muddy rain puddle, watching as a tiny stream of water flowed into the gutter. She could almost taste the moisture in the air, could hear the squeak of windshield wipers on glass.

_'Can I asl you something, Shizuo?'_ her fingers flew across her PDA before she could stop herself.

The man glanced at her briefly, nodding, "Yeah? What's up?"

_'What do you think of Shinra?'_

He paused, mouth twitching ever-so slightly, before shrugging, "I've known him ever since middle school, so we've been through a lot. He was just a happy kid. Always there for me."

_'We can't say anything bad about him since he's gone, right?' _

"What, do you want to?"

_'It's just that I can't. I can't think of anything bad. I was just wondering if you had anything to say.'_

"Not without sounding like a complete idiot," he snorted, before laughing bitterly. "He loved you so much, Celty. That's all I can say."

_'I know. How could I forget?'_

"Yeah. It was almost annoying. I guess that's something negative."

The odd pair reached the entrance to what used to be Celty and Shinra's shared apartment, standing awkwardly in front of it.

Suddenly feeling very bold, she wrapped her slender arms around his broad chest, pressing the surface of her helmet into his bartender outfit. Somehow, she could feel his warmth, hear his thumping heartbeat. His lips upturned into a barely-noticeable smile, but one she caught anyways, and returned the embrace, lowering the umbrella.

The two stood there in the darkness of the storm, in each other's arms. It was completely silent, because sords just weren't necessary for the two of them.

Maybe Shinra wasn't the only one who understood who she was.

But that couldn't lessen the hurt she felt.

Without his existence.

Author's Existence:

Angst, angst, angst, angst...

Sorry, that was super-depressing, but I had to write something about Durarara, which is my new obsesssion. Anyways, hoped you enjoyed that! :D


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